It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize