I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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