My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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