So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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