cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize