8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
