Whod you bang
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we made out on top of his cat.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
