They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
