dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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