The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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