I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize