i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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