Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
