I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
