I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I want her autograph on my taint
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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