hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
