you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize