so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
