i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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