Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
