the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
