Duck Duck Cougar?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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