Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
