i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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