The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
