the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
