I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize