That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
