I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
