i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
