um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
