If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
