Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
