Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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