I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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