It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
