So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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