I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
