And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize