hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
