trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
