Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
