hotel room ftw
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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