Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
