you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize