I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
