Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
