Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
