Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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