i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
