oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize