he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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