It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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