have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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