Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
