I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
