Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Porn is love you can see.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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