Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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