I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
