i don't like sucking hair
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
