we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
