Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
