She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
