i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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