Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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