hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
