wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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