Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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