see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
