I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
