I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
