chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
