omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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