She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
