your parents love me but you hate me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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