he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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