All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
