Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
