everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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