it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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