thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
