you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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