operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
