i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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