he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
